I have fought in all wars
Some without a winner
And my loyalty goes
Out to the highest bidder
Kill without remorse
Maim without a care
Never turn down a job
If the contract is fair
My prices are steep
But my aim’s guaranteed
I can solve all your problems
Whatever your need
Revolutions, uprisings
Start and ended them all
I’ve seen kingdoms rise up
And I’ve seen good men fall
Today I’m your ally
But tomorrow, who knows?
I’m a soldier of fortune
And that’s just how it goes
©The Beginning At Last
Excellent, Kevin. I love that you write from this kind of POV of someone I don’t want to put myself in the shoes of, but is definitely out there, hopefully not in in abundance it feels some days.
Thank you, Stephanie. I am not going to lie – I think a bit of this mindset is necessary in everyday life. It’s about the balance. Too unselfish is just as unhealthy as too selfish.
Maybe so, but it’s very hard for me to think that way. I always feel as though the time I choose to be selfish I’ll end up hurting the last person I’d want to hurt. Maybe I tend toward catastrophic thinking, or that I can simultaneously not make any difference while being the very deciding factor?
“Selfish” might have been too harsh a word on my part, but prioritizing oneself. It’s a tad selfish, but it’s needed.
I’m not condoning cruelty, but take a job for instance…
I gave 13 years of my life to a company I really, truly cared about, and while the fact that I am no longer there is a good deal my own fault to a degree, there is also a degree of fault on their side. They did not give me the support I needed as I took on more and more, they did not try to help me push pause when the warning signs were there and my judgement was clouded. They just let it happen because I was getting shit done for them. Fair enough.
Now? Now, I will still give you my absolute best effort, but I will not compromise my health or happiness for you, and quite honestly, my loyalty goes to the highest bidder. If someone offers me more money to jump next month to another job, I’m gone. I don’t care if I am there a week, a year or a decade. Me first, not them.
/rant
😄
Sadly, this is the guidance I give my kids about their workplaces as well, because one can’t fix a whole systemic mindset by themselves, but they can be aware of it, and try not to harm others while taking care of themselves. I’m not good at this (should have left my current job a long time ago, for instance), but when you describe your situation, agree 1000%!
When I saw the image, I thought someone should write something intense and powerful and you did just that. Very thought provoking on how things are at times.
Thank you, Kimber. I shot from the gut on this one. A lot of truths in there that I have finally accepted.
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The Beginning At Last 
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