It used to be so easy, you know?
All I had to do was show up with a contract and they’d sign without fail.
Like that Johnson kid. All I had to do was wait at the crossroads, parchment in hand, and it was a done deal. Man, could he play a mean guitar. Okay, fine…so he had a few hellhounds on his trail.
Or that Page fellow from England? I cut him one hell of a deal. Fame, fortune, women. Did you know he even bought Aleister Crowley’s castle? Of course, he signed! And he happily put that backwards message on “Stairway” too. That was a good haul for me. Lots of souls from that little tweak.
Nowadays, though? Man, it’s tough.
Nowadays it’s all about the IG, TikTok, and all that other bullshit.
Everyone and their brother is an “influencer”.
The ad copy is flashier, the promises are bolder, and each one is prettier than the last.
I mean, really…how’s a guy supposed to compete?
My minions keep telling me I need to hire a social media consultant.
Are you kidding me?
What happened to the old school way of doing business?
I didn’t screw around with these monthly subscriptions, payment plans and all that shit.
Your soul for whatever your heart desires. That’s it. Done deal.
Now? Now, it’s your soul, your money and your self-respect. And maybe you’ll have a body like Chris Hemsworth or Ana Cheri.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just too far past my prime, but the old ways were so much better.
Here’s to simpler times.
#workoutfromhell?
#demonicguitarskills?
#devilsfoodrecipes?
*Sigh*
Alexa, find me the highest rated social media consultants.
© The Beginning At Last
The Beginning At Last 
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