The Beginning At Last

Tag: anxiety

  • The Subtle Art of Giving Up

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    Kevin
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    A momentary lapse For a moment I forgot I had found the will to fight And then I asked myself for what? Swim against the tide Or climbing up a hill I thought it paid to try But I find I’ve had my fill Chasing down a dream But I found it’s just a joke…

  • All Too Easy

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    Kevin
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    This one’s a piece of cake. I’d have started looking for a job the second I had that feeling in my gut that things were going to go terribly awry. If I had just listened to my instincts and started looking to get the hell out of Dodge, I might not have been sick and…

  • Forked Up Friday

    Forked Up Friday

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    Kevin
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    As another week draws to a close, I sit here tired, sore and contemplating life over coffee number two; soon to be coffee number three, for those keeping score. My moods have been up and down for a couple weeks now, as most of you are painfully aware. Quite truthfully, they still are. And that…

  • All this time…

    All this time…

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    Kevin
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    Wasted. I’ll give the preemptive warning now: this is probably going to be all over the map. 😄 I don’t know if it’s this roller coaster I am on lately or what, but I feel like I am all over the freaking map where time is concerned. In theory, I should, and do, have way…

  • Peaks and Valleys

    Peaks and Valleys

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    Kevin
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    Peaks and valleys, they abound Finish one, another round Always climbing, never stops Climb again to reach the top Tired, sore and feeling lost Is the climbing worth the cost? Staring up, a peak so high Don’t think you’ll ever touch the sky But still you try, God only knows Pelted by the freezing snows…

  • There Comes A Time

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    Kevin
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    There comes a time in every life Cut so deeply by the knife Sliced so deeply to the bone A greater pain you’ve never known A state of shock as there you lie A look of panic in your eyes As claret flows in floods abound You think of all you’ve lost and found Before…

  • Hello

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    Kevin
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    Hello all, I hope this post finds everyone well. I would like to thank you all for your messages of support and friendship. Please forgive my lack of comments, but rest assured they are read and appreciated. I am currently going through a period of adjustment in my life, and it is affecting me both…

  • Idle Hands

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    Kevin
    in

    Idle hands and active mind Wander through a life unkind In a hole and in a haze Wandering through a twisted maze And though I try to leave this place Reality is in my face Mocking me at every turn A secret I have yet to learn Don’t want to scream don’t want to shout…

  • Like I Was Never Here

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    Kevin
    in

    **Explicit Language/Offensive Content Warning.** You tried to make me bow You tried to make me kneel And now it’s all too clear You don’t care just how I feel You would never understand You could never ever know The hate inside my heart Basking in the ashen glow You think you understand You don’t know…

  • Just let me stay down

    Just let me stay down

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    Kevin
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    This is really just me having a ramble, so don’t mind me, and apologies in advance. Recently, I felt quite down and out for a multitude of reasons. One was I physically felt like absolute shit. The mere act of breathing felt like a monumental fucking task. This is why I really do not like…

  • Comedic Timing

    Comedic Timing

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    Kevin
    in

    This question could not have come at a more inopportune time, as I currently find little humor in anything. I guess that in itself is a bit of a divine joke. To those who know me fairly well, my apologies for my lack of engagement. I truly don’t feel I have much constructive to say…

  • The Chains That Bind

    The Chains That Bind

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    Kevin
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    The chains that bindHeavyImmobileUncaringSteel to skinColdPiercingBruisingIron lacerates deeplyClaretFlowingStingingThe captor laughs incessantCursingSpittingTauntingTemples throb a pure barrageAngryVengefulUnrelentingVeins pulse a river rapidPowerStrengthGrowingSinews corded shatter steelTwistingWrenchingBreakingHusks of steel fall to the floorSweatingGaspingFreedom There’s an old song by Eagles that says “So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have…

  • Keep Climbing

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    Kevin
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    While I don’t intend to completely do away with the image-only posts, lately I feel compelled to add at least a few words when I post them. We often hear the phrase “peaks and valleys” when talking about the game of life, and it is a fairly accurate descriptor. There’s no greater feeling than reaching…

  • If you’re walking through Hell

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    Kevin
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    Walk through it like you own it. I was just going to drop a couple pics and call it a day, but I decided to add a quick commentary to the proceedings. We all have times in our life where we are walking through Hell. Sometimes it’s different levels of Hell (apologies to Dante), but…

  • Bury Yourself

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    Kevin
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    Good day to everyone! A funny thing happened to me along the path of this little blogging adventure. When I started it, my intention was to post about some of the challenges I’d come up against and the lessons I had learned along the way. My hope was to help others and bring some positive…

  • Junk It All (Prompt: 01/16/24)

    Junk It All (Prompt: 01/16/24)

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    Kevin
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    There are a ton of ways this can be interpreted. Physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Funny thing is about two months ago, I went on a tear and threw a bunch of stuff out that had been hanging around forever. Finally got sick of it and tossed it. Ironically, about a week before I got fired…

  • The Fire Within

    The Fire Within

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    Kevin
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    This is a followup to my earlier post about those pesky snakes. I will admit it definitely stung a bit to hear that I was currently being portrayed as the cause of every ill since the dawn of time (You didn’t know the whole dinosaur thing was my fault, did ya?), even though I saw…

  • And Out Come The Snakes

    And Out Come The Snakes

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    Kevin
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    I’ve been around the block more than a couple of times in my life and one of the truisms I’ve always encountered is that when someone leaves a job, regardless of the circumstances, once they are gone they get blamed for most everything under the sun. I’ve been chatting with a former cohort and they’re…

  • Set Up For The Kill (Poem)

    Set Up For The Kill (Poem)

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    Kevin
    in

    Dropped me in the dark and you left me here for dead Can you please explain what was going through your head? Perfectly you set me, set me right up for the kill Tell me, was it worth it? Tell me, did you get a thrill? Didn’t see it coming and I really don’t know…

  • First Day Of School!

    First Day Of School!

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    Kevin
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    And, man…Do I so not want to go. Anyone who’s been reading along might know that I signed up for an 8-week course recently, and I am also looking at pursuing an associates degree after that. I’ve been pretty psyched up for it the past week or so, but now that it’s here I really…

  • Five Things I Have Finally Come To Terms With

    Five Things I Have Finally Come To Terms With

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    Kevin
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    After reading this post from Pooja G I was inspired to do my own version of this list. She has graciously allowed me to link her post as well and I am truly grateful! I encourage you to check out her unique take on this list also. It really registered with me as the last…

  • Ninja Toxicity

    Ninja Toxicity

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    Kevin
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    One topic I seem to hear coming up over and over in discussions with my friends is the topic of “weird vibes” and subtle airs of toxicity either in their personal or professional lives, and sometimes in both. “Toxicity” is one of those buzzwords I try to avoid, but unfortunately, it’s often the most accurate…

  • Might as well jump

    Might as well jump

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    Kevin
    in ,

    Credit to the great Zen philosopher David Lee Roth for today’s title. I was talking to a dear friend and former colleague last night who has recently applied for another position within my former company. She is looking for a work from home opportunity and a better rate of pay. She emigrated from overseas about…

  • Treat Yourself Like a Friend

    Treat Yourself Like a Friend

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    Kevin
    in ,

    Sometimes when we face challenges in our life, I believe for a lot of us, the first instinct is to lean right into the negative. Depending on the circumstance that led to the challenge or problem, we might even beat ourselves up repeatedly over it. If we screwed up and caused the issue, even more…

  • Poem: The Eternal War

    Poem: The Eternal War

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    Kevin
    in

    The battlefield within my mind Where claret flows, a bitter wine I’ve fought it seems a thousand years A futile war amidst the tears I’ve known the rage and known the pain I’ve suffered ‘neath your tainted reign Through Hell and back and there again I fight the war one cannot win A fool’s crusade,…