Spreadsheet Blues

All your spreadsheets

Charts and graphs

You piss me off

You make me laugh

You are so clueless

Such a fool

A big diploma

Got spreadsheet blues

The above poem was written in exactly 59 seconds (which is about 58 more than they really deserve) and is dedicated to all the folks with big, fancy diplomas who’ve never even thought about getting their hands dirty.

Newsflash! All your fancy spreadsheets, trackers and charts do not account for the most important thing in most jobs: the human element.

You can tell me that your “data” shows how much can be done, and my real world experience can tell you that you’re an idiot with no clue what you’re talking about.

This is not a sign of disrespect towards anyone who has pursued higher education. I applaud anyone who continues to learn.

It is a sign of disrespect towards people (i.e. managers) who think that a diploma and a Power Point Presentation gives them some kind of all-knowing insight. The human equivalent of an AI.

Come down from the ivory tower, shut your mouth, open your eyes and get a little dirt under your fingernails for once.

I won’t save you a spot, because I know you’ll never do it. 😉


Comments

38 responses to “Spreadsheet Blues”

  1. I am nodding my head to this. I knew where you was going with this without explaining.
    I have experienced that once before in the past by those kind.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sadly, there are a lot of them out there! 😄

      Idiocy sometimes reigns supreme! lol

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 27 WPM is better than I can do. Is this a resume’? lol, Just kidding bro. I used to have a boss that was an engineer and we would go round and round. Just because it looks good on paper don’t mean shit on the floor. I feel ya on this one Kev.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I can actually type around 98 to 100 wpm, but since I was writing on the fly, I had to pause a couple times LOL!

      I wanted to see if I could actually come up with something that made any sense at all in under 5 minutes. 😄

      I know some cool engineers, it’s when they become managers that they really ratchet up on the dumb factor! 😜

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Maggie! I think many of us know the pain! lol

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is the reason I lost my job in 2020…I didn’t live up to someone’s BS spreadsheet standards…although my annual reviews for the 16 previous years said otherwise.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ah, a victim of “metrics”! Very sorry to hear that. It sucks to say the least. Data is a tool, but it is not the be all, end all. Especially where people are involved.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. So freaking true in every way. You know nothing about my job but because you got that fancy little title you’re gonna tell me to do…what? Ugh. I feel this one. And that’s highly impressive ❤️ way to go, I don’t think I can write anything that fast lol 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    1. PS- thanks for using the logo 😘 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for gifting it to me 😘😘

        Like

    2. It was more to see if I could come up with something cohesive in a fast time frame. I was actually gunning for 5 minutes, but when this came out, I just said F it and stopped there 😄

      Unfortunately, I think a lot of us know the feeling all too well.
      When businesses are run on common sense instead of ego, things tend to go so much better 🤷‍♂️

      Like

  5. Spreadsheet? Spreadsheet? I don’t need no stinkin’ spreadsheet! I wouldn’t even know how to use one and I couldn’t possibly care any less. 😎

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Unfortunately, they are an occupational hazard for me. 😄

      Some is ok, but some managers just go too far over the top with them and lose sight of the real issues

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Too much busy work for me to give a damn about! 😎
        I’m glad I’m a retired old bird 🐦 😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I try to blow some of it off where and when I can, but it’s not always that easy unfortunately LOL!

        Like

  6. Willie Torres Jr. Avatar
    Willie Torres Jr.

    Haha, love the energy in this.. It’s so true, data can’t replace real-world experience. Your poem says it all with humor and honesty.

    We know the value of humility and understanding the heart of people, not just the numbers. Real wisdom comes from both learning and living.

    Have a Wonderful and Blessed Weekend Brother.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, my brother! Yes, whether one likes it or not, the human factor is real and cannot be discounted. Beating people over the head with data is nowhere near as effective as building people up and educating them without being patronizing.

      Trust me, I have built several teams that were not only high performers, and honestly, a few probably would have killed for me LOL

      And I did it with nary a spreadsheet in sight! 😄

      Have a fantastic day, Willie!

      Like

      1. Willie Torres Jr. Avatar
        Willie Torres Jr.

        Sounds like you’ve mastered the art of leadership, having a team that loyal speaks volumes.

        Hope you have a Wonderful and Blessed week.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you, my brother! I don’t know that I have mastered it, but I think the fact that I don’t present myself as one who knows it all goes a long way towards building my credibility with my coworkers.

      I also see them as coworkers, not as my minions, like a lot of managers tend to. If not for them, there is no need for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Willie Torres Jr. Avatar
        Willie Torres Jr.

        I wish all managers had this mindset. Too many let the title go to their heads, inflating their egos beyond what they can actually handle or manage.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I came up through the ranks, so I know what it’s like to be that guy on the floor who feels like no one listens. I learned a lot of what not to do from a lot of crummy bosses over the years.
        Not the most enjoyable way to learn, but effective!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. “Come down from the ivory tower, shut your mouth, open your eyes and get a little dirt under your fingernails for once…”
    I’m practicing these lines, Chief …🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have to admit I channeled my inner pro wrestler for a bit of that lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. thanks for the tip… 🤣

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I love it when the words just write themselves!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Every once in awhile the flow hits just right! I got lucky on this one LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Never got a degree myself, just certifications. The most intelligent people I’ve come across have been uneducated, yet they were the most relentless learners and they had tremendous work ethic.

    I love how you put it – respect those who continue to learn and a little disrespect to those who hold a piece of paper over anyone else.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I hear you, my friend! I am a certificate fiend, actually LOL
      Same here. A little common sense goes a long, long way!

      Like

  10. Spark of Inspiration Avatar
    Spark of Inspiration

    It’s going to get even tougher with AI now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We are definitely going to have to be adaptable, that’s for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

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    Liked by 1 person

  12. “Newsflash! All your fancy spreadsheets, trackers and charts do not account for the most important thing in most jobs: the human element.

    You can tell me that your “data” shows how much can be done, and my real world experience can tell you that you’re an idiot with no clue what you’re talking about.”

    Excellently stated.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Nicole! Just calling it like I see it. 😎

      Liked by 1 person

  13. This is excellent, Kevin!

    “Newsflash! All your fancy spreadsheets, trackers and charts do not account for the most important thing in most jobs: the human element.”

    This is my favorite part! You can even apply this to sports analysis, especially (American) football. I straight up laugh in someone’s face when he/she mentions Passer Rating or QBR (the latter being what I call “The Tony Romo Stat”). No serious analyst would rate Tom Brady as only the 12th best quarterback of all time.

    NFL Passer Rating Career Leaders | Pro-Football-Reference.com

    Most statistics, regardless of what field their used in, fail to account for the eyeball test or legitimate experience(s) (let alone sampling biases). And more importantly, a lot of statistics often give zero context to the situation they’re being used for.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have come to the conclusion that anything can be made to look good or make sense on paper, but reality is a far, far different beast. Most people do not account for intangibles at all, and it is usually to their detriment! lol

      Liked by 1 person

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