This is really just me having a ramble, so don’t mind me, and apologies in advance.
Recently, I felt quite down and out for a multitude of reasons. One was I physically felt like absolute shit. The mere act of breathing felt like a monumental fucking task. This is why I really do not like Spring. I go through this every year and have for ages.
Second, I had some issues with people/things both online and off that left me feeling frustrated and less than stellar. I thought about sacking a lot of things and telling people to screw right off, quite honestly.
If you piss into the wind long enough, eventually you realize you are just getting covered in piss.
It truly was just a perfect storm of things physically and mentally that left me feeling far less than. I still kind of feel that way, but I am forcing myself to just push past it the last day or so, with varying degrees of success.
Anyhow, I have obviously been spending a fair amount of time in my own head as of late.
One of the things I always notice in times like these is how laughably easy it is to slip right into a depressive, negative mindset.
Even more so, how easy it is to stay there, and in an odd way, almost want to.
Now, common logic says why the hell would someone want to feel miserable?
Is it just the way we’re hardwired? Some survival instinct from way back in the day when we were constantly trying to avoid being the main course at the Dino Dinner Buffet?
Is it because the effort involved to dig yourself out of a mental or emotional pit is too great? Or that feeling good seems counterintuitive to us for some hidden reason?
Is there a part of our psyche that actually enjoys wallowing in the dark recesses of our minds?
Or is it really that people in general just make life that unpleasant these days?
More than likely, a combination of factors including, but not limited to, all the above.
Just a bunch of random thoughts that have been rolling through my head the past few days. 🤷♂️
The Beginning At Last 
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